Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 220 Million “Undocumented Whites” Living in the U.S.

Satire

Region:

A council of Native American leaders has offered partial amnesty to the estimated 220 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States.

The “white” problem has been a topic of much debate in the Native American community for centuries, and community leaders have decided the time has come to properly address it.*

Daily Currant reports, “At a meeting of the Native Peoples Council (NPC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, Native American leaders considered several proposals on the future of this continent’s large, unauthorized European population.

The elders ultimately decided to extend a pathway to citizenship for those without criminal backgrounds.”

“We are prepared to offer White people the option of staying on this continent legally and applying for citizenship,” explains Chief Wamsutta of the Wampanoag nation.

“In return, they must pay any outstanding taxes and give back the land stolen from our ancestors.

“Any white person with a criminal record, however, will be deported in the next 90 days back to their ancestral homeland.

Rush Limbaugh will be going to Germany. Justin Bieber will depart for Canada.

And the entire cast of Jersey Shore will be returning to Italy.”

Illegal white immigration has been rapidly increasing for nearly 400 years from the European countries of France, Spain and England.

These illegals have ravished the land and colonized areas occupied by the natives.

Some white supporters claim the immigrants are a blessing, arguing that they take all of the menial white-collar jobs that the natives don’t even want.

‘What native would want to have a cushy salary and a corner office as an accountant, or the excess of power as senator or fortune-500 CEO,?’ they claim.

Others are not so forgiving.  “Why can’t we just deport all of the Whites back to Europe?” asks Ité Omácau of the Lakota people.

“They’re just a drain on our economy anyway. They came over here to steal our resources because they’re too lazy to develop their own back home…

I can’t believe we’re just going to let them pay a fine. They should get to the back of the line like everybody else — behind the Mexicans.”

 

*For the offended… this is satire.


Articles by: Native American News

Disclaimer: The contents of this article are of sole responsibility of the author(s). The Centre for Research on Globalization will not be responsible for any inaccurate or incorrect statement in this article. The Centre of Research on Globalization grants permission to cross-post Global Research articles on community internet sites as long the source and copyright are acknowledged together with a hyperlink to the original Global Research article. For publication of Global Research articles in print or other forms including commercial internet sites, contact: [email protected]

www.globalresearch.ca contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of "fair use" in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than "fair use" you must request permission from the copyright owner.

For media inquiries: [email protected]